That moment when you realize you're not close to any of your family
anymore, because they want to pretend like you didn't grow up
trying to survive. They want to pretend none of that awful,
crazy, shit to be thankful in spite of stuff happened. You
don't understand how we all grew up the same and yet
turned out so differently. You don't understand how
eighteen years of your life is treated as though it
never happened. As though you're the misfit
for wanting to talk about it, because those
were important years of your life that
happened, that felt like they lasted
forever, and that only your family
could even begin to understand,
but chooses not to talk about,
because it puts a damper on
current relationships and
lifestyles. I just want
someone to talk to,
but God forbid
any one of us
feels anything
about our
past.
I think I'm one of the only people that knows exactly what you're talking about here, and I'm so, so sorry, Leslie. I not only know what you're talking about, but I understand it as well. As you are aware of, someone in my family neglects to realize that I am almost 20 years old. It seems like he just doesn't care, and doesn't want to at least TRY to rekindle our relationship, even though the girl I was when I was a younger teenager is not who I am today. Errrg, frustrates the hell out of me ):
ReplyDeleteI hope you and this person find peace, and that one day (soon) you can look back at your current situation and say "We were so silly for not being 'friends'" I really hope that day comes soon.
I love you Leslie! And although I cannot fix the broken heart that this person has created, just remember that you are my best friend (: