I feel like it's no secret I'm a bigger girl
(it's hard to hide, trust me!)
I wear a size twenty in women's
(that means I'm doomed to one or two of those pesky Xs)
I don't think I'm hideous or anything,
so this isn't one of those pity-me-because-I'm-fat parties.
I'm not. I think I'm adorable,
and cute, and I can look damn good in about 2% of my clothes.
My personality & ability to laugh through everything
reassures me I'm not ugly - "you're never fully dressed without a smile"
Not to mention, my husband tells me I'm beautiful every day
(or more than once a day if it's one of those days).
I'm just, a mega lousy excuse for a girl.
Or I was, in past years (21 to be exact)
I never liked shopping for clothes
(especially with my mother)
because it was always hard for me
to find any clothes I absolutely LOVE
in the twenty minutes of clothes shopping I could handle.
Most of those precious twenty minutes,
I spent annoyed that when I saw all the thin girls
looking at the same shirts/skirts/pants as me,
I would think to myself:
"this is going to look seven trillion times better on her"
and so, I would never buy anything I actually liked.
I would just buy another shirt my mother held up
A girl has to be clothed, right?
Right. But now,
now I feel like I should kick that younger version of myself in the pants and say:
"you are beautiful. people can see your beauty.
your smile is immaculate. your eyes are like big, sparkling pools.
your skin will never be the clearest. you were cursed with bad skin.
so stop stressing and love yourself like I love you. i love you.
and other people love you. learn to live with it, damn it!"
Looking at the way I want to dress,
I feel like it's time for a fresh start - to purge myself of the
too big, too small, too ugly, stained clothes I've kept over the years,
and repurpose them into wearable pieces of my "new wardrobe".
I just need to find some great tutorials!
Which is where you (and internet search engines) come in!
If you have a great idea, let me know. Or a link. Or a picture.